She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
My penis needs a shock collar
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
My dick has a subreddit
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
