I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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