is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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