i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
What drink are we having for lunch?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
