you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
