do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
