I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize