Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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