you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Randomize
