So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
