I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
someone owes me an orgasm
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
