If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
