The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Couch. On fire.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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