So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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