Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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