no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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