I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
