Redeem this text for a blowjob
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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