He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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