1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
