did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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