hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
