I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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