Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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