ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Randomize
