OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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