i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
