In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I think my fart just growled at me.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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