it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
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