and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
