My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
