? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
