How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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