I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Who did Billy Mays play for?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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