I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
