Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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