My first STD was from a foam party
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
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