these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
