You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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