I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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