just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
