Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
