I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
