who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
