SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
