I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
