1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
