If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
