Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
