he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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