Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Don't EVER smell your tampon
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
