Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Randomize
