I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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