Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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