Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
